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Review: Palmer's Cocoa Butter for Stretch Marks

About.com Rating 4 Star Rating

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Palmer's Cocoa Butter for Stretch Marks
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Among my many skills is the ability to gain and lose weight with relative rapidity. This has obvious applications in a circus sideshow type environment, but with these professional advantages come a few cosmetic drawbacks. In other words: stretch marks, I has them.

To deal with this problem, I turned to some of my favorite former pregnant ladies -- namely, my mom and sister. Both swore that the best thing to do was to get a hold of some cocoa butter and basically roll around in the stuff. I tried Palmer's, because I am, as we have previously discussed, almost horrifyingly cheap when I have the option.

Does It Work?

Stretch marks are like large pores: once you have them, you're mostly kind of stuck with them, so the goal is to reduce their appearance and make yourself feel better about them. (Also like large pores, stretch marks seem really obvious to the bearer, but generally go unnoticed by everyone else on the planet, who is generally much too busy to spend time worrying about other people's perceived cosmetic flaws.)

From that perspective, this stuff is straight-up amazing. My goal was to diminish the appearance of some faint stretch marks on my hips, and after a week or two of reasonably religious use, I really couldn't see them clearly unless I was looking. And again, if someone is that close to your hips, they're probably not scanning for blemishes. One hopes, anyway.

As an aside, if you're really eager to get rid of stretch marks, and over-the-counter products won't do, you can try retinol creams or lasers, but I'm always a big fan of giving the cheap option a shot before moving on to pricier methods.

Texture, Feel, and Smell:

My favorite thing about all Palmer's products is that they smell just like a birthday cake. My goal in terms of personal fragrance is always to smell as edible as possible, so I'm a big fan. In terms of texture, this is a thick cream that absorbs fairly quickly, which is nice, because who has time to massage creams endlessly into her skin? No one, that's who.

Ease of Use:

Again, because you're not so much getting rid of something as making it less obvious, this product works best if you use it regularly -- at least once a day works for me. There is some anecdotal evidence among my informal testers that using Palmer's Cocoa Butter for Stretch Marks will actually help prevent the formation of the little buggers to begin with, and while I can't swear to that, it seems worth a try. The worst that can happen is you'll smell delicious and have well-hydrated skin, and that ain't bad.

Bang for Your Buck:

This stuff is so cheap, it's kind of crazy. I got a package of two 4.4-oz tubes for under $10 on Amazon. It's effective, as long as you understand that the goal is preventing stretch marks or changing their appearance, not getting rid of the ones you already have entirely. It smells delicious and it's easy to use. It's pretty much the perfect drugstore skin care product.

Price: $5 - 10.

Is It Worth It? Absolutely. It's one of my personal favorite cheapo products, and I'd recommend it to anyone who's dealing with stretch marks. It's a great thing to have on hand early in a pregnancy, or any time you're losing or gaining weight.*

*Here is your obligatory disclaimer: I'm not at all recommending you attempt to gain or lose weight rapidly. The best course of action is obviously to maintain a healthy weight. But if we could do that, we wouldn't need cosmetic help, and then where would beauty bloggers be? Think of the beauty bloggers, people.

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